Panlabart is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, quiet beaver.

Panlabart created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panlabart, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Panlabart, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Panlabart's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Panlabart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five mites approach from the east.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.