Fatbap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking parrot.

Fatbap created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Fatbap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fatbap, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fatbap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Always treat ants with great respect.

3. Never feed figs to doves while wearing red kilts.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Never paint your chest white.