Gatgemmum is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful penguin.

Gatgemmum created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatgemmum, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gatgemmum, it will make you grow a tail.

Gatgemmum's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gatgemmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Hide from cyan bats for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.