Podhomvan Cutwatjab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, prudent zebra.

Podhomvan Cutwatjab created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Podhomvan Cutwatjab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Podhomvan Cutwatjab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Podhomvan Cutwatjab's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Podhomvan Cutwatjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing black rings and balancing five carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Podhomvan Cutwatjab.

5. Never mention turtles.