Bassogmab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, benevolent cat.

Bassogmab created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassogmab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bassogmab, he will turn you into a mole.

Bassogmab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bassogmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to badgers while wearing pink corsets.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bassogmab.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near doves while wearing violet hats and balancing seven tin spheres on your legs.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.