Larnfetarp is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, thoughtless jellyfish.

Larnfetarp created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnfetarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnfetarp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Larnfetarp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Larnfetarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of capybaras.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.