Guppangnurl Bop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, vain pig.

Guppangnurl Bop created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guppangnurl Bop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Guppangnurl Bop, he will curse you with boils.

Guppangnurl Bop's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Guppangnurl Bop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide if eight goats approach from the east.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never sing in the presence of shrews.