Labcitrutvadgodhunlam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous gerbil.

Labcitrutvadgodhunlam created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Labcitrutvadgodhunlam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Labcitrutvadgodhunlam, he will turn you into a duck.

Labcitrutvadgodhunlam's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Labcitrutvadgodhunlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Never mention dogs.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Labcitrutvadgodhunlam.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.