Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-powerful scorpion.

Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod, it will turn you into a rat.

Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Xuckbenved Damlarnzed Didfidfod's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never think about spacetime near frogs while wearing orange scarves and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.