Mumpindumtad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise goose.

Mumpindumtad created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumpindumtad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mumpindumtad, he will cry a lot.

Mumpindumtad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Mumpindumtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of snakes.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Mumpindumtad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Run away if three badgers approach from the west.

5. Never eat bark.