Gesszognab is a god.
He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest
crab.
Gesszognab created a quark nine million years ago.
If you believe in
Gesszognab, he will laugh at you.
If you do not believe in
Gesszognab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.
Gesszognab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.
Gesszognab's Holy Commandments1. Do not take Gesszognab's name in vain.
2. Never pour water over plants.
3. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing pink trousers and balancing four copper spheres on your legs.
4. Always obey Gesszognab's priests.
5. Never write about nebulae.