Homcargedbig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, competent bird.

Homcargedbig created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Homcargedbig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Homcargedbig, it will turn you into a rock.

Homcargedbig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Homcargedbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear magenta.