Xemyampad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical wyvern.

Xemyampad created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemyampad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xemyampad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Xemyampad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Xemyampad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near cats while wearing gray trousers and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your back.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Xemyampad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never feed oranges to seals while wearing dresses.

5. Never look in ponds.