Fagyokquam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring giraffe.

Fagyokquam created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fagyokquam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fagyokquam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Fagyokquam's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fagyokquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of garlic to ducks while wearing violet boots.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never sprint in holy places.