Pangmummap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, boastful hippopotamus.

Pangmummap created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangmummap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pangmummap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pangmummap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pangmummap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never paint your chest black.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangmummap.