Cap is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional fish.

Cap created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cap's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cap.

2. Always obey Cap's priests.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the north.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.