Waptimdum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous fox.

Waptimdum created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Waptimdum, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Waptimdum, he will remove you from existence.

Waptimdum's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Waptimdum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Waptimdum.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near turtles while wearing white tights and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Waptimdum in the centre of the settlement.