Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, flying tortoise.

Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig, she will turn you into a rat.

Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yarlvogmabfarnsakstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never leap near monkeys.