Banfumced is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic dingo.

Banfumced created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Banfumced, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Banfumced, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Banfumced's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Banfumced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing yellow dresses and balancing four iron spheres on your arms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

5. Worship no other gods but Banfumced.