Tettitargcar Kemrillgov is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional coyote.

Tettitargcar Kemrillgov created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Tettitargcar Kemrillgov, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tettitargcar Kemrillgov, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tettitargcar Kemrillgov's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tettitargcar Kemrillgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.