Tiffaggem is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, irritating centipede.

Tiffaggem created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffaggem, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tiffaggem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tiffaggem's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tiffaggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.