Doncipnib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid deer.

Doncipnib created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Doncipnib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Doncipnib, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Doncipnib's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Doncipnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to tapirs while wearing brown boots.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Never hurt eagles.

5. Frogs are not to be trusted.