Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful human.

Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dubcepfum Pitjonrut Wikquimlig first in all things.

2. Run away if nine sheep approach from the north.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Do not shave your hands.