Danfemdam is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, flying eagle.

Danfemdam created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Danfemdam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Danfemdam, she will turn you into a slug.

Danfemdam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Danfemdam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Danfemdam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear pink scarves.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never bounce in holy places.