Banvondun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy pig.

Banvondun created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banvondun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Banvondun, he will turn you into a duck.

Banvondun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Banvondun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Put Banvondun first in all things.

4. Banvondun loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the west.