Funcabtit is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, happy centaur.

Funcabtit created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Funcabtit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funcabtit, she will turn you into a dog.

Funcabtit's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Funcabtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing black ear rings and balancing six silver spheres on your back.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never mention manatees.