Zenkapzak is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, competent octopus.

Zenkapzak created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenkapzak, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zenkapzak, she will manifest in front of you.

Zenkapzak's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zenkapzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Put Zenkapzak first in all things.

5. Do not shave your chest.