Mipgedflis Gilzenpan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, kind tapir.

Mipgedflis Gilzenpan created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipgedflis Gilzenpan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mipgedflis Gilzenpan, she will turn you into a dog.

Mipgedflis Gilzenpan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Mipgedflis Gilzenpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Put Mipgedflis Gilzenpan first in all things.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.