Kikgubman is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous scorpion.

Kikgubman created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgubman, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kikgubman, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kikgubman's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kikgubman's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Never talk about cats.

3. Always treat sheep with great respect.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Never go into purple rooms.