Vonktunlan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful bird.

Vonktunlan created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonktunlan, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vonktunlan, it will turn you into a rat.

Vonktunlan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vonktunlan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five bats approach from the west.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonktunlan.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Never feed limes to cats while wearing dresses.