Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful wyrm.

Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. You must pray to Shavmiddadxem Rulbinkon seven times a day.

5. Do not eat lentils.