Flapomthugyim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, annoying slug.

Flapomthugyim created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapomthugyim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flapomthugyim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flapomthugyim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flapomthugyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Flapomthugyim loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Flapomthugyim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Flapomthugyim on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.