Ortkipbop is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful deer.

Ortkipbop created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortkipbop, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ortkipbop, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ortkipbop's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ortkipbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always look after injured cats.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.