Jamgarxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective squirrel.

Jamgarxuc created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jamgarxuc, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamgarxuc, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jamgarxuc's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Jamgarxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Hide from yellow mice for they are unholy.