Tadflankim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless mink.

Tadflankim created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadflankim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadflankim, he will turn you into a snail.

Tadflankim's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tadflankim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet shorts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about amino acids.