Cadquimvag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witty jellyfish.

Cadquimvag created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadquimvag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cadquimvag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cadquimvag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Cadquimvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. You must love Cadquimvag.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not shave your arms.