Missabflap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless hamster.

Missabflap created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Missabflap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Missabflap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Missabflap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Missabflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Always take life seriously.