Watyarlhan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient hyena.

Watyarlhan created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Watyarlhan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Watyarlhan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Watyarlhan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Watyarlhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from fawn shrews for they are unholy.