Nartkomarm is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy beaver.

Nartkomarm created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartkomarm, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nartkomarm, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Nartkomarm's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nartkomarm's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Nartkomarm loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.