Fosstailjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, temperamental rat.

Fosstailjarn created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstailjarn, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fosstailjarn, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fosstailjarn's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fosstailjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.