Cedvabnell is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciless lobster.

Cedvabnell created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cedvabnell, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cedvabnell, she will remove you from existence.

Cedvabnell's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cedvabnell's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Hide if nine snakes approach from the north.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cedvabnell on top of all buildings.