Midwatkad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, temperamental goblin.

Midwatkad created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Midwatkad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midwatkad, it will turn you into a slug.

Midwatkad's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Midwatkad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Midwatkad on top of all buildings.

2. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the east.