Bastluncem Jabcimdap is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless sheep.

Bastluncem Jabcimdap created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastluncem Jabcimdap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bastluncem Jabcimdap, she will turn you into a frog.

Bastluncem Jabcimdap's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bastluncem Jabcimdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to bats while wearing black shoes.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never wear fawn stockings.