Tampitxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, amazing mongoose.

Tampitxen created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tampitxen, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tampitxen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tampitxen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tampitxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Never feed rice to frogs while wearing purple hats.

4. Do not kill eagles.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Tampitxen on top of all buildings.