Femnaddob is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful goblin.

Femnaddob created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Femnaddob, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Femnaddob, he will turn you into a tree.

Femnaddob's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Femnaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Femnaddob in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Run away from black grasshopers, for they are unholy.