Labtapstan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering wolf.

Labtapstan created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labtapstan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labtapstan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Labtapstan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Labtapstan's Holy Commandments

1. Labtapstan loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Never feed lots of peanuts to sheep while wearing turquoise skirts.