Bemfigmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, strong bat.

Bemfigmat created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bemfigmat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bemfigmat, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bemfigmat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bemfigmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bemfigmat on top of all buildings.