Flowkomtad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, two-faced hamster.

Flowkomtad created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowkomtad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowkomtad, he will remove you from existence.

Flowkomtad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flowkomtad's Holy Commandments

1. Flowkomtad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never wear cyan coats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Never talk about fire.