Bintarg is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, egotistical porpoise.

Bintarg created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bintarg, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bintarg, it will manifest in front of you.

Bintarg's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bintarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of shrews.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.