Gepcibyam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain newt.

Gepcibyam created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepcibyam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepcibyam, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gepcibyam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gepcibyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.